Dear Shirley:
Recently. Girdwood lost a well-respected and contributing member of the community when another vehicle crossed the centerline and caused the accident. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Questioning Why
Dear Questioning:
Yours is a tough query of which there is no fixed answer. It has been said that everything happens for a reason…yet we can search our entire lives and never find a meaningful explanation. People make choices, mistakes are made and the innocent suffer the effects of others. There may be no sense of justice when events that are out of our control create consequences of immense proportion. Like the crippling illness of a child, the sudden death of a young wife and mother, and the tragedy of an athlete pushing to exceed physical limits at the Olympics.
Misfortunes that afflict good people affect not only the individual, but their family and the community. It becomes a problem to everyone who wants to believe in a just, fair and livable world. Such events raise significant questions about goodness and kindness; and even the existence of God (Rabbi Harold Kushner, 2009).
Thornton Wilder (1964) offers this illustration as his explanation of why good people have to suffer in this life. He uses the imagery of a beautiful tapestry.
“Looked at from the topside it is an intricately woven work of art, drawing together threads of different lengths and colors to make up an inspiring picture. Turn the tapestry over and there is a hodgepodge of many threads, some short and some long, some smooth and some cut and knotted, going off in different directions. God has a pattern into which all of our lives fit. His pattern requires that some lives be twisted, knotted, or cut short, while others extend to impressive lengths, not because one thread is more deserving than another, but simply because the pattern requires it. From the human vantage point, God's pattern of reward and punishment seems arbitrary and without design, like the underside of a tapestry. But looked at from outside this life, from God's vantage point, every twist and knot has its place in a great design that adds up to a work of art.”
God does not make bad things happen. People choose to do bad things. Selfish people look out for themselves and often do not consider how their actions may negatively impact others. Respect can be learned, but it has to be taught. People who fail to respect others should know they may eventually suffer consequences worse than what harm they bring to others.
It is inexplicably hard when a loved one is taken from us too soon for no good reason. We can't change what happens we can only change how we react to what happens and be thankful for the good times shared together.
Ask Shirley questions can be focused on any topics involving life, health, fitness, mental training, competition, clinical issues or addictions. All questions remain anonymous. Please, email your questions to Askshirl@gmail.com or call (907) 382-6477. Shirley K. Durtschi is an Certified Consultant for the Association of Applied Sport Psychology (CC – A ASP), Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) Chemical Dependency Counselor Supervisor (CDCS) for the State of Alaska.
