Dear Shirley,

I don’t know what it is, but I am so depressed lately? I am going to be a freshman in High School in less than a month. None of my close friends are going there. Probably, most of the girls and guys I don’t get along with are going there. I don’t know what it is? I want my personality to be what everyone likes. I am shy but I want to be more talkative. I don’t want to be so inside myself. I want to be able to talk to a new person without my cheeks being so red and all. I do smile. I just don’t know what to do. Please, help me I would gladly appreciate it if you can help me with this issue.

Thank you.

Dear High School Freshman:

You are about to begin a whole new adventure. You will meet new people, learn new things, and discover new things about yourself. You will be going from a small pond to what will seem like a big ocean, but you can find your private islands. I encourage you to take a couple of special interest classes besides your required courses. Perhaps, try an art class, or join and participate in a new sport. There you will meet students who are similar and like to do the things you like to do.

Above all, “be yourself!” The people you are around will like you better if you are sincere. Avoid pretending to be something you are not, and particularly someone you don’t want to be. When you talk to others notice something unique about them. Take a deep breath…and give them a compliment. You have a lot to offer and you will find you are not alone. Other freshmen will be feeling the same way you do and you will find common things to talk about.

It is good to keep a journal: where you can write down what you think, feel, find interesting and exciting as a whole new world of experiences opens up to you. Remember to SMILE. You really do have a beautiful smile.

Always, Shirley.

“Ask Shirley” questions can be focused anything related to health, fitness, sport, competition, personal issues, clinical questions, or substance abuse. Please e-mail your questions to:askshirl@gmail.com.

Shirley Durtschi, Ph.D., is a Certified Consultant in Applied Sport Psychology (CC-AASP); Sport Psychology (M.S.); Licensed Professional Counselor (L.P.C.); and Chemical Dependency Counselor (CDCII) for the State of Alaska.