Dear Miss Shirley,
I am almost 14 years old. I don’t know if I did the right thing? My friends wanted me to hang with them and bring in the New Year. When they go out they drink and do things I don’t feel good about.
At home, my Mom likes to drink a glass of wine to relax every night. My Dad didn’t drink everyday but sometimes he would go out and “tie one on” as mom would say. He would come home wasted and then they would fight. It was never good. Then he would not drink for week’s sometimes-even months. But he always did it again. I don’t like what drinking too much does to people. I want to know if I should have gone with my friends or not? What do you think?
Should I go or should I stay?
Dear Stay or Go.
Well, you made the right decision and you did the right thing. From what you have told me, it sounds like you may have some alcoholism or addiction genes in your makeup.
Alcohol is the drug of choice among young people. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism research has shown that half of American children begin drinking before the age of 15, and those who start before 15 are four times the risk of developing a lifetime alcoholism diagnosis. Children of alcoholics (COA) are 4 to 10 times more likely to become alcoholics than those children who have no alcoholism among family or relatives. The reason may be due to subtle brain difference. Using high tech brain imaging techniques, scientists have found that many COA’s have a distinctive brainwave pattern called a P300 response which has been identified as a marker for alcoholism.
Another fact to consider is risk-taking behavior. Binge drinkers are more likely to engage in risky behaviors; use other drugs like marijuana, cocaine, or methamphetamines; be sexually active with more than one partner; or perform poorly in school.
We each develop a personal attitude about alcohol and drugs. Traditionally, basic beliefs about alcohol are usually negative before the age 9. A shift in thinking can and often does occur at about age 13. Those who identify with drinking as a positive or pleasurable experience are more likely to drink than someone who does not. Another big reason to for a change in attitude is often the influence of friends or social activities.
Right now, you are just going on 14. You have a big wide world out there ahead of you. I encourage you to find fun things to do with other kids who enjoy healthy activities involving; sports, music, dancing, Battle of the Books, or even Spelling Bee competition. I’ve seen there are more groomed tracks on Glacier Creek, Moose Meadow, and the Upper Meadows. The Four Valley’s Community School put on the musical the “Music Man” this winter. Rumor has it there is going to be another play come Spring. You could try out and participate. My point is you need to find different friends and they are out there.
“Ask Shirley” questions can be focused anything related to health, fitness, sport, competition, personal issues, clinical questions, or substance abuse. Please, email your questions to askshirl@gmail.com.
Shirley K. Durtschi is a Certified Consultant in Applied Sport Psychology (CC-AASP), with a Ph.D. and M.S. in Sport Psychology, is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), and a Chemical Dependency Counselor II (CDCII) for the State of Alaska.